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Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I'm Not a Prophet--I Just Play One on TV

Actually, I don't even play one on TV. Some folks may think a storyteller/philosopher is some kind of prophet, but my track record of success in that department probably shows that prophecy is not one of my spiritual gifts.

However, I am reasonably astute at observing and predicting human nature. In that spirit, I have a couple predictions regarding the upcoming presidential election. No, I'm not a political pundit. Merely a political junkie. Some folks hate it when I write about politics. But in an election year, it's just too tempting. And if it's not already obvious, I'll mention again that I'm not an Obama fan. To many my prediction will not seem original in the least. Others have certainly suggested it. But usually, after it's suggested, it's immediately dismissed. I'm not so sure this one should be dismissed: 

1. Hillary Clinton will become President Obama's running mate. Whaaat, you say? What about gaffe-prone Joe Biden? What about the bitter fueding between Hillary and Barack that lingers from the 2008 campaign? Trust me. It doesn't matter. Barack made her his Secretary of State, for crimminy's sake! We sometimes forget how quickly political infighting evaporates. Heck, Newt Gingritch is already campaigning for Mitt! Who'd a thunk!? And NO ONE is better positioned to claim the mantle for the Democratic Party five years from now than Hillary Clinton--especially if she becomes the VP. I personally wonder if this strategy has been in the works all along, discussed in back rooms just prior to Hillary's acceptance of the (seemingly) lesser position of Secretary of State. Don't underestimate how the Secretary of State accolade could be viewed in a future bid for the White House. No one could now claim--as they did in 2008--that she has no foreign policy experience. Whether she's done a poor job as Secretary of State--too often interjecting politics into some dicey foreign environments--is another matter. Taking the Secretary of State post was an investment that will have been utterly wasted if it is never cashed in. The pay off (it's hoped) will come as Hilary is announced as the VP for this election--2012. Then comes the optimal payoff--when the 2016 election cycle rolls arounds, and  no contender will remotely compare to her in experience and positioning. Only a successful Republican candidacy and presidency can undermine this inevitability. With Romney polling so close to Obama in recent weeks, closing the gap in many swing states, and rising in popularity polls, drafting Hillary to the DNC ticket may be the only trick left up the President's sleeve. The announcement will come at a strategic moment during the Democratic National Convention in Charlotte, N.C., Sept 3-6.

A few months ago I looked at footage of Hilary giving a speech overseas. She looked overweight, haggard, and exhausted. Rumors are flying that she's grown weary of politics and may seek the relative tranquility of private life after Obama's first term. Don't believe it. Since that time I've noticed that she's lost weight and seems to be taking better care of herself. Yes, it may seem trivial, but no one would deny that physicality and grooming play a significant role in a candidate's appeal. Continue to watch her appearance improve over the summer. Now the 2nd prediction: 

2. The Democrats will soon exploit and ridicule--in a much BIGGER way--Joseph Smith's famous prophecy that the Latter-day Saints will save the Constitution at a time when it is hanging by a "brittle thread." The vast majority of Americans have never heard of this prophecy--not to mention many Latter-day Saints! The statement is mentioned in numerous journals and recollections by Joseph Smith's contemporaries. The Church has actually come out with a statement distancing itself from an enhanced prophecy written in the journal of certain individuals 50 years after the fact called the "White Horse Prophecy." However, Joseph's statements about the Constitution and the role the Saints will one day play in its rescue are unrelated. His statements on the matter are readily available online for any party interested in gleaning the details. Whether or not the conditions are now ripe for such a "rescue" to take place is an intruguing--but separate--question. There's no doubt that many Americans feel that a loss of Constitutional "purity" is knocking at the door. Our nation's traditional understandings of the founding document, they feel, are EXACTLY what's at stake. Many feel Pres. Obama has trampled the Constitution under foot. Or burned it in effigy. Take a look at this popular painting if you have doubts. It's true that Joseph Smith's statement does not specifically say that one Mormon on a white horse will ride in and rescue the Constitution. His prophecy, as reported by Brigham Young, Eliza R. Snow, and others, declares that the Latter-day Saints as a people will save the Constitution. Can this prophecy be reasonably interpreted to mean that a Latter-day Saint must be at the helm? Perhaps. However, for the purposes of attacking Mitt during this election, I don't think it matters.

Obama surrogates have already attacked the Church in various ways. This effort is very much ongoing. Don't expect Obama himself to engage in such attacks (at least at first), but I believe he holds no grudge if surrogates become extremely aggressive on this front. Here's the point: Publicizing and ridiculing the specific prophesy about Mormons thinking they will save the Constitution seems inevitable, especially if Romney is still leading or tied in the polls in late summer. The fact that Church has distanced itself may not matter. Obama surrogates will publicize it in a last ditch effort to keep their man in power. Any effort to elevate this prophecy in the public discourse would be intended to tell voters (especially Christian voters) that a vote for Romney is an admission that Joseph Smith could be a true prophet. Thus, a vote for Romney may, in fact, be a vote against Christianity! Certain influential Evangelicals have already expressed that they want no part of any vote that might elevate the standing of Joseph Smith or the Church he founded. If Obama publicizes this little-known prophecy of Joseph Smith, preachers and pastors from other faiths might try to persuade their fellow Christians that voting for Mitt would offer a victory for Smith's whacky religion. In short, advocates of Pres. Obama may attempt to convince Americans that a Mitt Romney presidency could damage the foundations of mainstream Christianity. Would you vote for Mitt if you believed such a vote might hurt the cause of Jesus Christ? Sure, folks like Hannity and Limbaugh would attempt to poo-poo this idea. But might the fallout in the short term--so long as this attack is perfectly timed--be just enough to turn the tide of the election?

The Church and its representatives can authoritatively proclaim that there is no particular doctrine in our Church that supports the idea that Mitt Romney fulfills Joseph Smith's prophecy, but will that be enough? I'm really not sure. I find it interesting that only about 85% of Latter-day Saints support a Mitt Romney presidency. Obama actually has 90% support among African American voters. Who'd have thought that race outranked religion in galvanizing supporters? Anyway, those are the current facts of the ground.

So why post a blog about these things? Is it possible that I'm actually giving ideas to the opposition? Trust me, these facts are already being bandied about in various blogs and posts. I'm a firm believer that issues like the two I have just mentioned should come out earlier rather than later. It should be vetted, discussed and--if possible--nullified or rendered impotent before opponents can somehow take advantage of the all-important issue of strategic political timing. Considering the deep-seated prejudices that continue to percolate against the LDS Church, Obama's team may have already decided that a well-timed publicity campaign regarding this prophesy and how it threatens mainstream Christianity is just the ticket for Obama to "keep the ticket."

Now, keep in mind, there's no need to get too uptight about my personal predictions. I could be wrong. I've been totally wrong before. Refer again to my first paragraph of this blog. Nevertheless, it's sometimes a valuable exercise to attempt to think like the opposition.

I welcome any thoughts or comments that others might add on these issues.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Free Kindle Books!

Greetings Heimer-Fans!

Everybody loves FREE! And two of my best author friends, Rachel Ann Nunes and Anita Stansfield, are offering FREE downloads of two of their books this Saturday, May 26th! For those who have Kindles or iPads with Kindle Apps, this is a wonderful way to start summer. Here are 2 title links:

A Bid For Love – a heart-stopping contemporary romantic suspense novel by Rachel Ann Nunes.
The Captain of Her Heart – an intensely romantic historical novel  set in the Civil War period by Anita Stansfield.

In the meantime, here are some great deals on new releases and other products available on Amazon through my Frost Cave/Amazon store. Thanks a billion!

A new spellbinder from
Kathi Oram Peterson!
Great New Thriller
From A. L. Sowards!
Great New Talk CD
From Hank Smith!
read this!
Cold Justice Book
Cold Justice Audio

Espionage Book
Espionage Audio

 I Love My Friends CD

One of my Favs!
Jerry Borroman!
Fun New Adventure
From Clair Poulson!
The Newest Release
From Anita Stansfield!
Steamship to Zion Book

Switchback Book
Switchback Audio

The Wishing Garden Book
The Wishing Garden Audio

New LDS Historical Movie!Intense New Adventure
From Jean H. Mathews!
New Novel About a Leap
of Faith and Change of Heart!

Redemption DVD

Purchase Here
Lucky Stars Book
Lucky Stars Audio

Book Only $6.99!

Incredible Summer
Sale Price!!! Only $9.99!!
Now a Favorite
Cookbook in My
Own Family!!!
White House Comes
Comes to Zion
365 Days of
Slow Cooking

My best to you and yours this coming summer!!!!

Stay close to the Lord,
Chris Heimerdinger

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Update and Muckwhip Exerpt

Been a while. But that should be good news, right? Very busy.

Yeah, I know. Any mention of a project OTHER than Tennis Shoes Vol. 12: Thorns of Glory makes my fans go nuts. But Thorn of Glory is a MONSTER work (and hopefully my MASTERwork)! And I got bills. I have to publish something this summer. BE COMFORTED! Muckwhip's Guide to Capturing the Latter-day Soul was written more than a decade ago. I'm just polishing it off and prepping it, initially, for release as a Kindle download. Next as a hardcopy and audio. Yes, that does take time. But only minimal, and I remain committed to work on Vol. 12 everyday. The story in Thorns, by the way, is breathtaking (so far!). I'd love to reveal some of the more surprising twists, but then I'd have kill everyone. Which would be far too complex. Better just keep it all under wraps. I'm sure I'll discuss more of this in the near future.

Anyway, I always loved the Muckwhip project, but even a dozen years ago, my publisher turned a bit pale at the concept. A devil mentoring a novice devil on the best methods of destroying a Latter-day Saint??? REAL devils are no laughing matter. That's why I stick with fiction and symbolism, much in the same tradition as C.S. Lewis, Milton, and others. Thus, my collection of emails (I actually call them "h-mails") between these two twisted fiends is packed with satire and humor. Here's the opening of one h-mail:

Dear Frogknot,

I infer from your last communiqué that you are of the conviction that we are pathetically lacking in employment incentives. Therefore I am presently offering an all-expense paid vacation to Nott Berry Fun—Hell’s recently inaugurated amusement park, sort of a devil's answer to Disneyland. As of yet there are no attractions, but plenty of lines...

Times have hopefully changed in the last decade--or so I hope. The adversary's success abounds, sometimes to our mystification. And so the point of this project--as with ALL my projects---is to inspire, enlighten and entertain. If that's your sincere object, I believe the Spirit is always present. Here's a full h-mail:

From: Muckwhip the Unmerciful 
To: frogknot the naif
Subject: trifecta


I received your initial bi-weekly report, and I must say that your overuse of servile phrases like “extraordinary skillset,” “wicked wit,” and “lofty intelligence," in describing my attributes are little more than vain and opprobrious attempts at kissing up. It reminded me of the tail-waggings of an abused puppy. In short, I liked it very much.

As you have asked my opinion regarding “the most advantageous angles of attack” upon a Mormon teenager, I affably offer my standard threefold retort: social insecurity, the itch for independence, and boredom. Actually, these are formidable fronts for enfeebling any adolescent, but there are certain subtleties that will make them especially effective against your Target.

First, regarding social insecurity, are you aware that Mr. Hansen is an absolute sucker for public opinion? Like all youth, he swallows upwards of everything that he is ever told about himself—particularly by his peers. At this crossroads of his carefree life he is a salivating slave to fad, fashion, and female foppery. Oh, he may fancy himself an independent illuminato—and should ever be enthusiastically encouraged to see himself as such—but in actuality at no other period is he more paranoid of his actions or utterances. He cringes at the classification of being “uncool” (or its fashionable synonyms). This he will glibly deny, but we are not so gullible. Tragically oversensitive and effortlessly offended, he will adjust to virtually any variance in that oh-so-overblown quest to “belong.” Of course, some young subjects will seek refuge within their families to circumvent such tripe, but not your Target. Thanks to the contention we've long cultivated in that environment, his “home” is the last place he seeks to inhabit, and the setting wherein he feels the least security. Your object, therefore, is to entangle him in just the right cliques and introduce him to a host of unctuously sycophantic friends—i.e., allies for our cause—collaborators who can convince him that any practiced virtue is positively boring--moreover embarrasing. The Organization itself must be viewed as uncool, uncollected, and uncouth. Or in more incisive terms: prejudiced, parochial, and asphyxiating. It's leaders are imbeciles. It's programs propped in place to pester. Hypocrites are ubiquitous. If you can bait him to embrace even one of these perspectives, cinching your mission's objectives will be all the more elementary.

Better yet, such efforts neatly segue into his second vulnerability—the impulse for independence. Ah, but this is a fertile arena for fostering advantage! Your Target is predisposed to wean himself not only from the influence of parents, but from all adults. He believes he is an adult, with all the stature and status this label implies. Milk this to its maximum advantage. Let him believe it. Buttress it. Ennoble it. Let anyone who opposes his self-proclaimed post-pubescence find themselves highlighted at the apex of his black list. He must be persuaded to impugn or impeach every precept he’s ever swallowed. This, in and of itself, is not precisely our objective, because often the ideas he questions are his own quixotic conclusions and wobbly worldviews. No, no, these we must encase in concrete. Whenever a young Target internalizes hostility or disgruntlement about the circumstances wherein life has placed them, we are infinitely freer to entice him with our more infatuating philosophies.

Finally, exploit Mr. Hansen’s incurable tendency toward boredom. This is the ad nauseam lament of all teenagers. Oh, how they wail and whine! Throughout their mortal probation they have held fast the opinion that it was the inflexible obligation of others—parents, pedagogues, and every other pulchritudinous personality—to entertain them. From infancy they've sought out fresh and unique stimulations to keep them enthralled. Now in the bloom of adolescence your Target is starting to inquire, “Is this it? Is there nothing more to mortality? Just pain and complexity? Loneliness and laundry?” Your answer is resoundingly “yes!” A gazillion times “YES!” In past eras, of course, we haven’t had the luxury of guiding such groveling self-indulgence. Most parents kept their nippers occupied by a solid day’s work. It was a matter of survival. But now is an age of affluence. Your Target is now as malodorously spoiled as summer compost. I assure you, however, he views the situation exactly the opposite, and this is outstanding. Persist in letting the world fall short of his expectations. Persevere in letting him secern deep disappointment in people and principles. Drive him absolutely berserk with boredom! Then strike with the obvious solution—SIN. And only the most delicious varieties. This, he will discover—with all the curiosity of a kitten with a ball of yarn—is his only unexplored enclave of stimulation. Through attrition, you will convince him that without it, he may even shrivel up and die. Oh, how I delight in observing this evolution! It’s so fundamental. So academic. So enthralling I generally request popcorn. 

Focus upon these three stratagems as your staging area for every sortie. Make it your alternating trifecta of assault. If human history and histrionics teaches us anything, young Mr. Hansen will find himself thoroughly helpless. You’ll have a smorgasbord of succulent temptations at your fingertips. Do not neglect a single hors-d'oeuvre!
Your Malignant Masterchef,